Chapter 1

Please do keep in mind that this is the very first draft.


Chapter 1:
Sila was born in, or on, Nebula 15467-Sil. In the nebula, it was called Silas. It was their creator; their alpha and omega. Silas had told Sila when she was very young that she was to go to Earth, so be its Star. And for the next 12 years, she was preparing to do just that. Stars were taken to their “final” home when they were 16. However, on the Summer Solstice, when Sila was ready to be taken, Sol went instead. Sila had been hushed away, told that she would be assigned a new home. But all of the residents of the nebula knew what an embarrassment it was. When you turn 16, then go be the star, you stay there until you eventually expand and then you become a white dwarf, and then you go back to your nebula. You stay there for as long as you please, and when you are ready, the process starts over again. You are quite simply reborn.
The entire process if being a star took about 43 billion years. Nebulas died only rarely, when they were killed, which was usually on accident.

But Sila was taken, forced into secrecy. This was her very first time being a star, she could feel it. And it was being snatched away from her by Sol, who was going back to the same galaxy. He had quite briefly left. For only about 24 years, Earth was submerged in darkness. By then, Sol was ready to go back, but Silas wasn't sure about the job that his son had done, he had left his beings lingering, still thriving. And Silas thought that Sila would do a better job. Sila was special. Sila was the daughter of Canus, and her brother was known as Sirius, who was also quite special.

Sol was not a good—being. He elected to give one of his children life, and then he did not raise the child properly...so it quite nearly brought about its own destruction, several times. Its known “b.c” time had now extended for 5786 years, and Sol was getting quite bored. So, he created life on his Jupiter's moon, Europa. He wanted to make it simpler, so he only made water. He shortly got bored with that too, so he came back to Earth, who was in the midst of its most recent World War, this being the 23rd one. Sol decided to do something drastic. He killed half of his beings. He wiped them out, all 13 billion of them, leaving only 11.5 billion left to clean up the mess. Then, a mere 230 years later, he took most of the rest, leaving only 3.14 billion. Their world was going up in flames, war raged the surface, and poor Earth was left to suffer. Her inner core was becoming so hot; she would have exploded at any moment. Sol had a rare moment of pity, so he extinguished. He was gone. He gave earth the chance to cool down, and then tried to return. But Silas had different plans. He was tired of watching his son bring about war, so he brought the innocent Sila up to take the mantle.
Sol argued relentlessly. He tried everything, even swallowed his pride and begged. But Silas had seen enough, and prepared Sila fervently. Meanwhile, earth was engulfed in darkness. Finally, on the eve of Sila's departure to earth, Sol tried the one thing that would work. He threatened to kill the girl that was to take his place, and her brother, Sirius, who was nearing his time as well. Silas knew that Sol would do it. And he could not bring himself to kill his only son. So he gave Earth up to Sol, knowing what tortures it would go through.

Silas grieved for days upon his sons' departure. And then he knew what he had to do. Sila was the only thing that had threatened Sol. So he must now use Sila to save the beings of earth. He hoped that she would take this ultimate-destruction gracefully.
# Posted on Monday, 25 May 2009 at 11:35 PM

Prologue

Sila looked through her large window. She couldn't feel the movement anymore. The world was either no longer connected to Sila, or it had stopped spinning. Sila believed the latter to be true. In her 18 years on the little planet, she had always felt, always heard her earth. There was no way that today, even though it was the Eclipse, could be any different.
Then, Sila heard. And then she saw. Her nebula. She turned her back to the window, gasping for air. Her Nebula, 15467-Sil was suddenly dying. She started to become light- headed. The night was ending quickly, which meant that Sila had very little time. She called for her brother, Sirius. When she heard no reply, she started to seriously panic. She turned back towards the window, at her nebula, her creator, that was in its final throws. And then: Sunlight. Sila screamed. She knew that Sol had something to do with this. He had drained 15467-Sil of its last elements, he had killed their creator. And then, Sila collapsed.
# Posted on Friday, 15 May 2009 at 11:05 PM

"When Will I Know That I Really Can't Go To The Well Once More Time To Decide On?"-- Snow (Hey Oh), The Red Hot Chili Peppers

It seemed really simple: He was going to hit me on the face with a dodgeball. But, like my English teacher has taught me, I strived to find the deeper meaning. So when Ty missed, I taunted him to keep going.
He would have made it once, but I was covering my face.

Above is a little excerpt of my day.

This will mean absolutely nothing to anyone, but the Saints are being good. They are doing the right things.

For the first time in months, I have absolutely nothing to do this weekend. Ah, well.

Haha! Today in English we did improv just for fun. I went first and my character was George Bush. My the time the person guessed it, I had the whole class doubled over in laughter. Heehee...

I feel like a kid. I guess that makes sense; I am ONLY a little insignificant kid. Ah, well.

My birthday is in like a month and 20 days, and I'm trying to get everything organized so that my friends that my parents don't know and such can come. But no one will listen. Ah, well.

As I wallow in Self Pity, you should know that I'm listening to an amazing song called "Maybe Sparrow" by Neko Case.

I woke up late this morning, only 20 minutes before I had to catch the bus. I thought about just ditching school and sleeping in; Lord knows I need it; but I didn't. I went to school, and had a sucky day. Ah, well.

I had an anxiety attack/ fit of dehydration on Wednesday. The school nurse also said that I'm not getting enough rest. I wonder how many fucking medical degrees it takes to recognize that. I'm sorry, that was mean.

I'm tired. Ah, well.

Ah well. Life goes on :)

"When I sit alone, come get a little known, but I need more than myself this time."
# Posted on Saturday, 02 May 2009 at 12:42 AM

"Sittin Here, Eating My Heart Out, Baby..."-- I don't know.

Everyone has forgotten.

They shouldn't have, it was important.

But I left, and they moved on.


***
Sorry about that, you have no idea what I'm talking about.
Haha! I talk like I have an audience, when I only have the lone but faithful Charlice. Haha..

***

Raad might leave, and never come back. This is what's happening. With the econemy here, his and my dad's work (they work together) have been doing some background check on financial stuff; they don't want anyone with bad credit. My dad came out ok. But my dad also said that Raad might not. Therefore, Raad might be fired. If he is fired, he might not find another job here in the still-only-a-big-town Tucson. And he might move. And depending on how far away, he might come back and visit rarely, if ever.

No.

***

I fucked up. Ty wanted to be friends, but I had to put my other friends first. Ty is rude and inconsiderate, so it shouldn't matter to me, but, like I said, I fucked up. And I hurt him. And me.

God I'm an idiot.

"Sittin here, eating my heart out..."
# Posted on Tuesday, 28 April 2009 at 11:45 PM

"I have to block out thoughts of you, so I don't loose my head"--Hate Me, Blue October

"The house.. its almost empty of any furniture.. It seems dark, which makes sense; there aren't any lights. I turn slowly, taking in the stormy air.. The rain starts to fall. I am in a room, witha friend, and this is her new house. Its.. where a farm house would be, about 50 yards away from the yellowing 'country house' that they should live in.. But they don't I don't know if its for money reason, or because it simply looks haunted. They live in the farm house, and I feel that I have been here before. It has several stories, kind of like an apartment house.. I attempt walking upstairs, but my courage fails me, I cannot. I walk back into the friends room, finally placing what is wrong: There are no exterior walls. Just air. The wind starts blowing. My friend has a mattress that she sleeps on, and a room is adjacent to hers; but we are not allowed in this room. It is the only room that is closed off; it has an exterior. But we, my friend and I, are preparing to sleep in this isolated place. I look towards where a wall sould be, and see yellowing cornfields. Everything is neglected, everything is abandoned. Even my friend and I are, only her mother is here with us, and she is nowhere to be found. My friend tells me that it is time to put up the tarps. So we hang these tarps where the walls should be, but only around where we are. There are four rooms per floor, so we cover all of those walls. We run out of tarps, so we hang large maps. We only hang them from the top, they are blowing into the room, unfastened at the bottom. I finally find my voice, saying I do not want to sleep here, she cannot expect me to sleep here. I go to the door of the forbidden room, I have a feeling that the mother is in there. I knock, and the door blows open. It is empty. I say rather quietly that I want to go home. Then I start screaming it. The dream fast forwards, it is darker now, the sun is down. The rain has stopped and now I have doubts if it ever stared. But the wind still howls. My friend is asleep, and I am sobbing, rocking back and forth on the cold wooden floor, with a tarp wrapped around me as a blanket."

End.

And now, the explanation of this dream. My dads cousin came to visit, and to be honest and blunt, she is psychic. She read my mom, tapped into the 'spirits'. And then I wanted a reading. So, my cousin tried. My spirit self sadly shook its head at her. She wouldn't tell my cousin anything, but apparantly I was surrounded by people. Whether or not they were unfriendly, my cousin couldnt tell. That night I had this dream. I told my cousin the next day, and she said that the house with no walls was my mind, being exposed.

Now, I have my own theories that basically follow along that line. The tarps are my feeble attempt to keep her out. The forbidden room is my spirit-self asking my mind for permission. And of course, all the cyring and such is me ultimately not wanting to know what my cousin would have told me if she would have found a way inside.

"And then she whispered, 'How could you do this to me'"
# Posted on Friday, 17 April 2009 at 8:59 PM